Monday, June 25, 2012

My Paranoid Delusions

My husband and I are currently buying a house. Yes, it's exciting. Yes, it's overwhelming. What I'm having an issue with, though, is the paranoia that's accompanying every aspect of the purchase.

We're waiting on the appraisal at the moment and I'm worried, which I know I shouldn't be, that it won't come in at the dollar amount that we need it to. I'm worried that the seller won't be willing to re-negotiate and we'll lose out on the house THUS leaving me homeless because my landlord is currently trying to rent the house that I'm in.

After appraisal comes financing. I have great credit and I don't even need a human underwriter on my loan BUT what if they tell me my interest rate is going to be 1 million percent and that the 20% I'm putting down isn't enough and that I have to take on PMI and have an escrow account, which I neither want nor need, and, again, the deal fall through and I'm homeless because my landlord is trying to rent the place that I'm currently in.

What if everything goes through and upon inspection they find 20 mounds of termites living in the walls and there's no insulation in the attic space and there's caves underneath my house and I can't live there because the Indian burial grounds that could possibly be there dictate that I have to pray to a different ... OK, I'll stop now.

This is what my mind is doing right now. I know I'm delusional and I know I'm getting a great rate on my house and I know the appraisal is going to come in at the right price but my mind won't allow me to think of the positive in this situation. I can't even revel in the fact that I'm buying a great house because I'm constantly worried about the what ifs of the whole situation.

I need a xanax.

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