Thursday, January 5, 2012

What A Way To Start A Year

So this year, with the birth of my new blog (the one I'm finally completely happy about) and the realization that this year TJ and I are going to be able to buy our own house, I know it's going to be a great year.  I'll have to admit that the message didn't quite become clear until Jan 2nd.

Found HERE
You see, on Jan 1st around 1:30am I was heading my unhappy ass, and my drunken husband, to the hospital.  You know when someone is drinking and their mind just completely leaves the universe?  The classic Kristen Stewart look.  I mean seriously, does she have more expressions than just the one in the photo to the right?  If so, I've never seen it.  I digress.  They get that blank stare that, without words, says I'm not here anymore.  Yea, that's the face I got around 12:30am.  This was followed immediately by just over an hour of barfing with the bathroom door open.  There's nothing I love more than hearing someone heaving up nearly 1/2 of a 5th of Jack Daniels.  (Why haven't they invented a sarcasm key on the keyboard yet?)

After that over an hour of barfing thing, however, I was seriously concerned.  I thought, for sure, TJ had alcohol poisoning.  He was only taking around 5 breaths a minute.  He tried telling me, the next day, it was because he was hunched over the toilet and he was putting too much pressure on his lungs.  What he didn't realize is that he was stretched out with full access to his lung capacity, if that make sense.  I hadn't seem him this out of shape since he was 460lbs. I was terrified.  He kept trying to convince me that he could just sleep it off.  I would consider it for the 5 seconds between heaves and then my maternal-but-I'm-not-a-mother instinct kicked in and I forced him into the truck.

We were off to the hospital.

I don't think I've ever followed every traffic law in my entire life, but I did that morning.  I stopped for the required 3 seconds at every stop sign, red light when turning right, and I think I even stopped completely at some yield signs.  I wanted to get him to the E.R. but I didn't want to get pulled over in the process.  Thankfully there weren't many cars on the road, seeing as how it was after 1:30 in the morning, and there wasn't more than one police officer.  I got him there safely.  The Boy went into the hospital and grabbed a wheelchair as I pulled into a parking spot.  I can't remember the last time I had to transfer someone out of a vehicle but I swear, I don't ever want to do it again.

To make a long story short TJ is fine.  There were a lot of laughs, at his expense, two liters of IV saline pumped through his system, a double dose of anti-nausea medication, and some pain killers for the horrible pain his stomach was in due to all the barfing.  He was able to put himself back in the truck by 3am when he was released.

When we finally got home I just wanted to break down and cry.  He was OK but I was still a little terrified.  I let him fall asleep before I even thought about laying my head on the pillow.  He didn't know it but I was awake for a while after he fell asleep just making sure his breathing was at least semi-normal.   After knocking out, we both slept until nearly noon that day.

Thank goodness he's doing fine now.  I think the only thing weighing heavier on his stomach than all that alcohol is the impending hospital bill.

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